Emotional intelligence is an incredible skill that one develops as a result of NLP training. One is trained to recognise and understand their emotions and skillfully manage that of others.
Such obvious self-awareness contributes to successful interpersonal relationships – specifically, knowing what to and what not to say.
This is especially crucial for people in positions of leadership – where saying the wrong thing can have adverse effects.
Thankfully, the brain-rewiring impact of neuro linguistic programming helps. Here some statements that executives have eradicated from their managerial-speak.
1. “This is how things are always done!”
Utterances of this nature typically come across one or two ways to the receiver: they are either defensive or dismissive. Effective managers don’t want to be perceived in this light.
Also, it suggests that the executive is close minded, and to an extent, myopic: they’re not open or willing to consider suggestions that don’t fit their idea of how a problem/task should be tackled.
With NLP training, managers are encouraged to listen thoughtfully and with an open mind – everyone should get the chance to express how they feel without the fear of being judged.
Even when the leader doesn’t necessarily agree (or find value in the employee’s proposition) they’re reminded to take the time to explain why and make sure their rationale is clearly understood.
2. “I’m just too busy!”
Saying that a C-suite level executive is busy would be considered an understatement – their attention is needed constantly.
While it’s important to always make time to address the questions of their subordinates, the reality is that sometimes, they are swamped and time poor. The difference between an NLP-trained manager and a manager who isn’t, is in the messaging and delivery.
Instead of saying something like “I don’t have the time!”, an NLP-trained manager would say something like, “I’m unfortunately tied up at the moment, can we please chat later?”
See the difference?
While the second response seems wordier, it is a thoughtful one. An employee who hears that is more inclined to follow up, keep asking questions, and ultimately, feel valued.
3. “What exactly were you thinking?”
The inherent tone in this statement is accusatory and would belittle the recipient. Furthermore, it suggestions that omissions are not permitted, or worse, wrong.
This is not to say that leaders shouldn’t constructively critique their subordinates (critiquing is a great tool for motivation) it’s the tone/manner in which it is delivered.
An NLP trained manager is well aware of the fact that mistakes are inevitable, and they also play an important part in fostering genuine learning.
Also, by refraining from such a harsh tone, you also encourage your employees to take calculated risks rather than always err on the side of caution.
4. “John Doe does this way better”
The comparison of employees to one another is a sure way of straining (if not completely ruining) professional relationships amongst colleagues.
It instigates unhealthy competition.
Through neuro linguistic programming, you would find more palatable ways of suggesting/encouraging peer-to-peer collaboration.
Saying something like, “Have you considered a different approach? Jane Doe might be able to point you in the right direction.” is bound to foster collaboration rather than rivalry.
5. “Let me do it!”
A good manager never robs his or her subordinate of the opportunity to learn when they fall short of a particular task. By refraining from such a statement, they allow them to identify where they went wrong and feel empowered in the process.
