We all know that one person who is so charming – who irrespective of their shortcomings (monetary value or good looks) they always seem to project radiant energy and confidence. Additionally, they are who you consider the life of the party, companions in the times of trouble and confidants whose advice you value.
Have you then caught yourself thinking: “what is it that they have that I don’t?” Essentially, what makes them so irresistible that you can’t get enough of them?
Generally speaking, what we’re attracted to is their self-worth that springs from the inside, and the security they seem to have in who they are.
Irresistible individuals don’t seek external validation, and the healthy view that they have of themselves is admirable.
If this is something that you’re particularly interested in cultivating, the good news is that you too can imitate these characteristics by doing the following:
1. They treat every person with respect
Irresistible people don’t ration out respect – they treat all people (whether it’s the firm’s top client or the barista at the local coffee) with regard; they’re unflinchingly polite.
They have the self-awareness and humility to recognise that they’re not better than anyone. This act, of course, taps into the fundamental need that people have to be valued and treated with respect.
2. They follow the “platinum rule” rather than the “golden rule”
Irresistible people don’t follow the Golden Rule – which states that we should treat everyone as we would treat ourselves.
The shortcoming of that rule is that it suggests that everyone wants to be treated the same way, and they are all motivated by the same things – which is wrong of course.
On the contrary, they practice the “Platinum Rule” – which posits that we should treat people how “they” want to be treated. This latter rule remedies the defect in the previous rule.
3. They establish real connections with people
Irresistible people tend to steer clear of small talk – the reason being that that kind of conversation doesn’t yield to relationships with depth. They don’t just ask questions for the sake of it, but out of genuine interest.
4. They’re people-focused
Irresistible people are genuinely keen and curious about the people around them – as such, they spend more time asking questions and listening to other people, rather than talking about themselves.
5. They’re real
Irresistible people are themselves at all times – they don’t any spend time trying to be something or someone that they’re not. Insincerity isn’t a word in their vocabulary.
Remember, people gravitate towards individuals who are the best versions of themselves.
6. They’re accommodating
Irresistible people are welcoming of other people’s views, even if they disagree – they find a way to meet others where they are and don’t come across as dogmatic.