“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
Hey, Max here from The Coaching Room. Thanks for checking out this article. Once you have read it, my hope is that you will have some clarity and awareness of how you can use NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ) as lifehacks to move past the fear of failure by changing what it means to fail – seeing it for what it really is so that you can move forward fearlessly and get what you want out of life.
Many of us carry around a fear of failing, of not being able, or of not being good enough. That was certainly the case for me. During my NLP training I saw so clearly how I was using this fear to hold myself back because it seemed “safer” to do nothing and withdraw.
Sometimes running our brain in this way is just ‘occasionally’, for others this thinking occurs regularly, even on a daily basis, and for a few… this is their constant state of thinking, feeling, speaking and behaving. Some of us even take this a step further and confuse what we DO for who we ARE and now failure becomes part of our sense of personal identity; I am a failure!
What is failure? Wikipedia defines failure as the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective.
A part of emotional intelligence is realising that failing is merely a snapshot in time that exists only in mind about how reality has turned out differently to what was intended. The fear of failure is supported only by the illusion that it is possible to fail and that failure means that somehow we are less valuable as a human being. It’s NOT real!
There is an NLP presupposition that state “There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.”
Have you ever actually seen ‘failure’? Have you ever physically, tripped over it on the way to achieving your goal? I doubt that you have, although it might seem like it metaphorically. But that’s exactly what we do – we treat the concept of failure as if it’s real by imagining and constructing reasons for inaction in mind, allowing the illusion to become our reality. The truth is failure does not actually exist in the world, so you can’t actually fail at anything!
We all make mistakes. It’s inevitable. Rather than judging some result as a failure or a mistake – in your business, your career, health goals or your relationships, you can choose to see your “mistake” as “my stake” in the ground so that you have a point of reference that indicates that you’ve gone off course. You can use that feedback as highly valuable information to make the necessary course correction towards your intended objective.
The interplanetary space probe – New Horizons was launched on 19th January 2006 directly into an Earth-and-Solar-escape trajectory with the intended objective to understand the formation of the Pluto system. It had the highest launch velocity of any manmade object which resulted in the flight path being more or less direct.
However there are 16 thrusters built in on the New Horizons used primarily for trajectory corrections. With the latest trajectory correction it delayed Pluto arrival time by 14 minutes and 30 seconds and is also the longest distance trajectory correction burn on record. Was that an epic failure?
This puts things into perspective doesn’t it?
As an expression of human beings, New Horizons has reached the edge of our solar system after 9 years as we have a greater awareness and clarity not only about our solar system but the vastness of our universe.
And we are here, 7.5 billion kilometers away, worrying about what it means to fail.
Well, you’re in charge of you. Whenever you seem to be ‘off course,’ simply remind yourself it’s part of getting where you want to go, remember your intention, and then make adjustments to get back on course, if you choose to.
So, what would you do today if you knew you couldn’t fail? Would you take on a whole new set of actions to get what you want and produce powerful new results in your life? Given that you can’t actually fail, wouldn’t you be better off trying then?
You’ll always produce a result. If it’s not a desirable one or if it’s different to what your intended, you have the choice and the power change your thinking, feeling, speaking and behaviours. Do so and you’ll produce different results. Personal development and growth only lies outside of our comfort zone. Want to know more? Step outside your comfort zone and check out our NLP courses.
Remember, there is no such thing as failure, there is only feedback! So what will you do differently today?
See you in the room,